This is me!

Well thought i'd give this ago, unsure at the mo as to what i should write. I suppose i'll start of with how i found this here site which was from a link on the Changes forum that i read, i would quite like to go to a meeting but am way to nervous to, but maybe one day.
As for me well suffered from depression in the past (well still sorta getting over it) have good and bad days, don't we all! but my biggest problem is the dark cloud i call SA (Social Anxiety) i just don't think there is enough awareness out there on it for people to actually understand what i sufferer goes through, believe you me, it's tough. So many people just take things for granted which i and fellow sufferers would take alot of courage to do. Just for say answering the door!
SA makes me such a social outcast as i have no friends or life really cos i tend to hide away to keep the anxiety at bay. Trust me i feel so ALONE even though i have a hubby and 3 most adorable kids in the whole wide world!
School yard is a place i feel most like a leper, i stand alone looking down at the floor or gazing around and seeing all the other mums in groups fitting in chatting, to me that would be a dream and a nightmare for the fact that if anyone does try to talk to me (very rare) i go all hot and flustered, my heart will start pounding so hard, i go shaky and feel like i'm going to faint....it's so horrible this feeling and have had it all my life.
I would love to meet fellow sufferers in my area but just don't know where to begin!
Best stop me whining now or i'll bore ya to death!
See how all this goes : }